Gossiping or Not?

Hello All!! I hope that everyone has had a blessed week! I know that there has to be SOMETHING that you can look back on this week and be truly blessed by how you handled a situation, or maybe how you were a blessing to someone else just by talking to them, or how someone else may have blessed you with their words! It has to be something, just take a second to look back, I promise you it’s there.

So I would like to talk about a subject that I have been wanting to write about for awhile now, but a situation that happened today has brought it back up to existence. It’s ATTITUDE AND GOSSIPING! I hate gossiping with a passion, I think that it is very immature of someone to smile in a persons face or to befriend someone (and they confide in you), and you talk about them or the situation behind their back. That sucks!! Ok now that you know how I feel about it, lets dig a little into my perspective and how we need to be careful ourselves that we do not fall into these traps.

I think of myself as someone who looks at the glass half full (most of the time) LOL, just like anyone else, I have my moments when I am unsure about something, scared about something, or just straight out don’t like something that is going on. But I am the kind of person that has always taken someone else’s feelings into consideration, and try to put myself in someone else’s shoes, (sometimes too much), I think that I care wayyyyy to much about situations and people sometimes, and it could be an hindrance, but one of my friends told me that it is a blessing, so I will go with that! Hahaha!! But going through my divorce and having to transition to a single parent, it has been pretty tough, no matter how much I try to put on my “superwoman outfit”, I just get plain old tired sometimes.

 

There was a small moment in time that I started complaining about the smallest things, and not being patient or respectful of other’s. Not in a disrespectful way, but it was definitely a bad habit that I was picking up; and it was small things like if someone (at work) didn’t get what I was communicating I would get frustrated and I would allow that situation to give me permission to not have as much patience as I would have, or complaining to a friend about someone who made me mad, or asking advise in different situations that may be going on in my life to more than just one person (to get different perspectives). But all of these attitudes/things were causing me to do something that I despise. Let me clarify something, (this is for me also so please do not take offense),  but gossiping comes in a variety of ways, one way that you can gossip, is the obvious, just talking about someone or situation behind that person’s knowledge, another way is constantly asking for advise about a situation, a friendship etc. (don’t get me wrong I think that it is ok to seek advise from trusted friends, but when you are constantly talking about it, it can  become construed), also when you are doing this you are not walking in GOD’s will. You need to take your issues up with HIM, I am certain that whatever you are confused about or need answers to it is GOD who has allowed the situation to happen in order to bless you or test you! GOD is constantly working on us, and when we are put in situations good or bad, it is our opportunity to show HIM that we trust HIM to guide our path. In Philippians 1:9 Paul is saying to the church “And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ.” I take this passage to say that we need to walk in love, (because  GOD is love) HE will guide our path and give us the knowledge that we are needing in order to deal with whatever situation that we have going on.  So I was practicing a bad habit, and was convicted by a conversation that I had with a friend. I realized what I was doing was not RIGHT! I was so shocked with the way that I had been acting in certain situations (I know what you’re probably thinking, how can I not know?), But that is the crazy thing, I had been practicing this bad habit that it almost became second nature, and it took someone else to call me on it to stop and evaluate myself.

After this was brought to my attention, I have been working on changing my attitude, and it takes a lot of work, a conscious effort, and prayer in order for me to do. When I find myself even going the route of thinking negative, or someone makes me upset or I feel a twinge of disrespectfulness or impatience, I try to pray about it RIGHT AWAY. This takes practice!! But hey what do they say “practice makes perfect”. So my prayer may go like this: Lord this (situation) is happening for a reason, or I believe that you have allowed me to be exposed to this for a reason, and I pray that you will guide me to have the courage to do what is right, or to not take it upon myself to try and judge the situation, I want to hear your voice on what to do, and I pray for your wisdom and not lean on my own understanding. You said in your word “trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5).

So this is what happened tonight that made me finally take the time to write about this subject:

So tonight my sisters were talking on the phone to each other, and they were just having at it, talking about our youngest sister and my mom, I noticed it had been happening everytime they talk, but as I was listening to one side of the conversation (we were driving in the car, I was not being nosy…lol),

I was getting increasingly upset, because all they were doing was complaining and talking about people, it was very disheartening. When my sister finally got off the phone, I just reminded her that no one is perfect, and instead of talking about our other sister, why doesn’t she be a sister and call and see how she is doing sometimes (my sister made the claim that our little sister doesn’t like it when she gives her advise), but I asked her, “is she asking you for your advise?”, call and check on her sometimes, just to see how she is doing. I reminded her that we are all struggling in some aspect of our lives, and instead of taking the time to bash each other on our flaws, lets take a different approach. I encouraged her to stop and ask herself, when she talks to our other sister (the one that she was gossiping with), what is the purpose of the conversation? Is it building me, us up? Are we encouraging each other? Is this conversation a good use of my time? (because honestly complaining or talking about someone or something ain’t gonna get you know where), if you have time to gossip or talk then you have too much time on your hand, and honestly…

So I encourage you to take a hard look at relationships in your life, and ask yourself, “are we building each other up or are we tearing other people apart with our words, and judging?” ; I know it takes practice to change your mindset, but at least give yourself a chance to reflect and change some things if need be.

Well thank you for reading, I hope that you were blessed by this post! Leave a comment, tell me what you think or share your story.

Always remember “Never get too comfortable always put GOD first”

Sincerely,

Keisha

 

2015 goals?

So….we all know that 2015 is coming to an end very quickly, (I know, I know, Christmas haven’t even passed yet, and I am already talking about the new year) LOL, I am so sorry, but I have to bring it up.

The reason that I am brining it up is because of something that happened today…so lets dig in!

Today we had a team meeting/ holiday party, it was so fun! It is so cool getting together with the team that I work with outside of the work place. I think that is when you get to see people in a different light, outside of work related issues. Anyway I always enjoy this, so my supervisor handed out the agenda for the meeting, while we are making small talk with each other, and making our food order (we were at a restaurant); One of the questions that I noticed on the top of the paper was “Is there anything that you would like to celebrate with the rest of us about the 2015 year?” Honestly my first reaction was blankness!

My mind went blank, and the first thing I started to think about is what I did NOT accomplish this year. Which was a lot of things, but why is that the first thing that came to my mind was the negative?? One thing that I am learning, is #1. how to accept compliments, and #2. to practice thinking positive. Now I don’t think of myself as a negative person, but I am a little over dramatic at times, and some times tend to think things through (too much), and it can become a hindrance at times. So one thing that I have been trying to practice is that when issues arise or something that could potentially become stressful or negative, I try to see the positive in the situation. Believe me it takes practice!

So when it was my turn to speak about 2015, the one thing that came to my mind is my divorce (it was supposed to be finalized on November 24th, and it is being delayed because of some paperwork that I did not fill out correctly). (Now this has happened several times, and each time I receive it back I get EXTREMLY EMOTIONAL), so I fill out what I think they are talking about, turn it back in and

And wait! So this week I received it again, but I didn’t get emotional, I simply read what they are asking of me, and made a mental note to go to the class to help me fill out the paperwork correctly (sounds simple huh?), not when you are like me, (#don’t like to ask for help, #miss independent)LOL.

Anyway so one of my goals for the end of the year was for my paperwork to be finalized by the end of the year, I wanted to go into 2016 not being attached to this person, but hey, it’s all in GODS timing. So that was what I announced, but one of the ladies said, “well what about something positive?”, there has to be something?”…I paused for a second, then I was like “yeah you know what, there is a lot of good things that happened in 2015, and one BIG ONE is that I am a better woman! This is not to be conceited at all!! I promise!! I just mean that as a result of my unhealthy relationship with my ex-husband, I have WAKEN UP! There are so many things that I have neglected when I was with this person and now I am FREE FROM IT ALL! I feel like GOD has given me another chance, “if he loves me, and have sacrificed HIS son Jesus Christ for me, then I NEED to embrace HIS love, and start loving myself through HIS guidance. HE has put so much in me, there is so much that I want to do, and so much that I realized, that would have never happened if I didn’t separate from my ex.

Here are a few things that I have accomplished: I started a savings account, I started a 401k, I have been working towards financial security, I have been diligently working on my credit to purchase another home, (I needed to catch up on some on my current mortgage to do that), and I was blessed with extra money so that I was able to catch up, and start working on the process for the new year), I have been working on myself physically, mentally, emotionally, I am taking the time to exercise not only for my health, but for my emotional state, (exercising makes me feel more confident, and gives me more energy), I started putting on lipstick (this may sound funny), but I never really believed in make-up, but one of my friends suggested that I tried a lip color, I did and I loved it, so I am now putting on mascara and lipstick (that’s it, my skin is too beautiful for the rest of that stuff)LOL

, but I am committed to taking care of myself, IT IS A MUST! I have am more involved in the kids lives as far as paying attention to every little detail, I am pulling up grades on a daily basis, I have cut off television during the week, we have plans every weekend (we did not do anything before, we were just going to work, going to school, and sleeping on the weekend) so sad, I know, but that is the reality of the situation. There are so many steps that I have taken to become a better me. And last but not least I have come to realize that GOD needs to be number 1 in my life. HE is the one that guides me, puts it in my heart to be the best person that he has called me to be, HE is opening doors in order for me to live out the will HE has for my life. IT IS AWESOME

So yes I have accomplished ALOT this year. And I thank GOD for it all!

I know that life has it’s ups and downs, but please take a second to reflect on the year, and see what it is that you have accomplished. Practice looking on the brighter side of things. Let me know what you come up with.

Always remember “Never get to comfortable, always put GOD first”

Sincerely,

Keisha

Thankful for what??

I promised myself that I would be writing once a week, (Sunday’s to be exact),  I did not write last week because between the Thanksgiving Holiday, work, school, kids and all the things in between it got increasingly hard, and honestly overwhelming! I had so much things to turn in at work, I forgot to submit an assignment for my class, and I had to plan so much for the Thanksgiving holiday (because we were going out of town for the holidays), and if you are a mom/parent then you understand that there is ALOT of preparation that comes with spending time somewhere else away from home. We were spending approximately 4 days away from home, to visit family in our hometown, (we were leaving on Thursday, and I had to start packing and planning the Sunday before! Some of you may think that I am exaggerating but it is true. I have learned from when my son was younger that I have to pack everything that I needed for him in advance otherwise I would forget something, it never failed. So I would always pack the night before… but now you add 2 more kids (so 3 altogether) and myself, and YES the planning is very necessary. Let me break it down to you… I have to pack their bags and make sure they have enough clothes for all of the days that we are going, ( I always add an extra pair just in case of anything), shoes (and potential shoes to go with the outfits), underwear (same with the clothes, I will pack extra), socks, toothbrushes, toothpaste (yes it’s obvious but I have forgotten one without the other a few times), blankets, accessories (I have 2 girls that have a bag of lip gloss, chapsticks, smell good sprays etc.), (a son that needs his deodorant, smell goods etc.) and yes they do need reminders at any age! I have to make sure that chores are done,( we clean up every Sat morn, but when we leave and are not coming back for a few days I need my house in tip top shape, we do a deep clean); I need to make sure that I have planned accordingly (this is the mental part). So reading some of this will have some of you dizzy and some of you completely understand either way this is what the preparation process was and is.

 

Any way on top of that I had to turn in ALOT of paperwork for work. I am a Supervisor for a child development center, and yes I am with the kids, but I am also supervising staff, and handling parent issues, and school issues, but we had a report that was due and it was very time consuming.

Then I am taking a class at my local community college, (and even though it is an online class, it can have it’s challenges), I didn’t pay attention to the due date on an  assignment that needed to be turned in, and ended up being 4 days late), now that is a lot when it is an 8 week/online class! Now talk about ripping my hair out.

 

While I am writing about this and thinking about all of the responsibilities that I have, I would NOT change it for the world. With Thanksgiving just passing and Christmas right around the corner, I believe that it is a time to STOP and give thanks, not only that but take a second to breathe in all of the things in our lives that we are blessed with.  I can name a few for myself right now.

I am thankful for having a family, not only my immediate but extended also. I have 3 beautiful children, my mom (that is my biggest cheerleader), 3 sisters that are cool, funny, and unique in their own way, a brother that is very driven and is using his past to motivate him to make better choices in life,  a brother and sister in law that are just the coolest couple that I know (even though they really do not have to be, I am no longer with their brother and they are still including us in their family, my sister in law is one of the most “downest” chick that I know, she has my back! LOL, I have friends that are very supportive over all of my endeavor’s, and keep it real with me when they have to (and vise versa).

I am in a career field that I absolutely LOVE and KNOW that GOD have placed me in the field that I am in for a reason, I love to teach kids, and remind them that they have a voice, I love for them be creative, and think outside the box with things, I love to make a big deal out of their ideas, I love to watch them sparkle over the little things in life (that we as adults take for granted), or watch their milestones and see how proud they are of themselves when they achieve something.

I am thankful for being a homeowner, and having the opportunity for my mom to live in my house, it is such a blessing for her not to have to worry about renting an apartment or a house somewhere else ( when I was little, I used to always tell her that I would buy her a house), I believe that this is GOD’s way of letting me live out that dream.

I am thankful for KNOWING GOD and knowing that HE loves me! That during times of confusion, roughness, and pain that GOD has my back, when I started reading the bible, I started reading the book of Philippians (it is Paul who is writing a letter to the of Phillippi), and from the very beginning Paul is telling the people about Thanksgiving and Prayer, even though Paul is in prison he has  freedom, courage, and discernment in the Lord. When I read it, I always think about how he is in prison physically, but doesn’t display any form of stress or concern, in fact it’s quite the opposite! He is giving advise to the church about being thankful and having peace! Also in the book of 2 Thessalonians, Paul, Silas and Timothy are writing to the church of Thessalonians and the first thing that they talk about is Thanksgiving and Prayer (do you notice also that thanksgiving and prayer goes hand in hand?) I am learning to be thankful for the present moment. I always pray to God “thank your God for the past, it has caused me growth and have taught me to lean on you for everything, thank you for the present, I believe that it is preparation for my future, and thank you for my future, which I look forward to because you said in your word that you have come to give us life and to give it more abundantly.

Overall what I am trying to say is that life has a way to throw lemons, watermelons, oranges, whatever analogy you want to use, but it is up to us to decide the who, what, when, where, and why of life. One piece of advise that I would love for you to take into consideration is to PLEASE SEEK GOD! If you seek HIM, I promise you, you will reap the benefits of what you are seeking because you will be walking in HIS will, and whatever you were destined to do, believe me it is from HIM because HE put that desire in your heart. Also learn how to be thankful with all that you have! You may not be exactly where you want to be in life, but it’s always SOMETHING TO BE THANKFUL FOR! Use the Holiday season to start practicing Thanksgiving and Prayer! It works!!

Always remember “Never get too comfortable, always put GOD first”

Sincerely,

Keisha

When God Speaks to you LISTEN!!

I told myself that I would write on my blog once a week, (this is the advise that I got from a fellow blogger), and I believe that it is reasonable, and I LOVE to write and don’t ever want to get burned out of what I love to do. My plan is to write once a week, every Sunday to be exact. I get most of my writing topics from inspirations that have happened throughout the day, or conversations that I have with my friends. And that is what inspired this post! A conversation with my friend (I will probably have many more posts that will be inspired by them, although I will not name them, just for their privacy, this one is from my friend J).

Ok, so my friend have just been blessed with being able to purchase a house (her and her husband have been diligently working to accomplish this goal) and it finally paid off! So proud of them!! 👍🏡👈. They are a young couple with a little daughter and with every relationship/marriage they are doing their best to make sure that they are providing a legacy for themselves. And they are doing an awesome job! 👏👪. As we were talking to each other about the stress that comes with moving (emotional, physical, and mental) she was explaining to me an epiphany she had during the whole process. I want to explain it in her own words, then you know I gotta tie it back to Jesus (yeah remember I am a Jesus girl) LOL. No seriously you’ll see…enjoy

So I was asking J, “how was the move?”

She told me that her and her husband signed their papers for their house on Tuesday and got their keys on Wed. Once they got their keys, they started their process of moving. They did not have too much help, it was literally the 2 of them and their baby, (and we all know that moving with a baby could be a little challenging), as they were moving she received a phone call from her mom (nothing serious, just small chat), but during the phone call with her mom she kept wondering “when is she gonna ask me if I need help? With moving or the least to babysit the baby?” But her mom never got around to offering so she shortened the conversation, got off the phone and kept moving her things (but all the while it was bugging her that her mom  did not offer to help). So of course moving is already a strain, and now add frustration along with that, and it can become a recipe for disaster 😬. So she  got so frustrated that she started crying and pondering on why her parents aren’t as supportive as she would like them to be (buying a house is a HUGE accomplishment, why aren’t they over here congratulating or at least helping??) Somewhere in the mix of all of this she decided to ask GOD “What is the meaning of all of this? Why is this such a hindrance for me? This has to mean something GOD? What are you trying to show me/ or tell me about myself?” And that is when it happened This is in my deep narrator voice (lol). GOD told her “PRIDE”, she needed to set her pride to the side and humble herself to ask her family for help! (I believe that once you take a look at yourself and see how you could contribute to make relationship/situation better then GOD can do what he needs to do in order to start working on your heart to mend the relationship/situation). Ok, so let’s continue, so she asked GOD to show her what HE is needing from her, and right away he answered! Sometimes be careful what you ask for because our GOD is a GOD that does not play, HE is on HIS A game at ALL TIMES! So her and her husband were the only ones moving the furniture, and this was extremely hard for her to physically move some things, so they were having a little bit of a hard time putting the couch inside, so they decided to stop and try again a little later, but her husband told her, “it’s ok, I guess we can just try again after you get off of work”.

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She said when he told her that, immediately she felt stressed, and surrendered to GOD (I imagine her putting her hands up in the air and looking up, you know like what you see onTV,completely surrendering)LOL, anyway she finally said to GOD “ok, ok I will ask for help!”,ZomboDroid24112015122733

she picked up the phone and called her dad, but the phone was just going to voicemail, so dun dun dun… she had to ask her mom for help, isn’t it funny how GOD works things out? (She was forced to ask for help, otherwise she would have been struggling moving furniture she knew she could not move, and when she finally decides to ask for help, she tries to go about it the easy way and ask her dad but she cannot get through and is forced to ask her mom) DO YOU SEE GOD WORKING HERE PEOPLE?! Anyway so her mom and dad comes by and helps her husband with the couch, (which was alot easier to do by the way), and that part was done; but GOD wasn’t through with her yet. Later that night she still had it in her heart to ask her mom for forgiveness for HER ATTITUDE! Wow if that is not surrendering to self, then I don’t know what is. And by her letting her mom know that she was sorry for having the attitude that she was having, it gave her mom an opportunity to open up to her!

I love this story because it goes to show a couple of lessons. I love how J took the time to ask GOD “what are you needing me to learn from this?” I think that when you are asking HIM to show you what HE is needing from you or what is going on in your heart, or your attitude GOD can start to work on some things! In Ephesians 1:18 it says “I pray that the eyes of your heart maybe enlightened in order that you may know the hope of to which HE has called you”. When I re-read this verse I think of someone asking God to open up their heart to see what THEY can do in order to see the full scope of how and why they may be feeling the way that they do, and what does HE want THEM to do in order to bring peace to the situation.

How many times, (when something happens, or there is some sort of misunderstanding with someone), do we tend to blame the other person or people? When you can fully take the time to sit back and surrender to GOD to show you what HE can do to fix your attitude, I think that really shows maturity and growth.

Is there a person/situation that got your temper flaring or making you feel some type of way? I encourage you to take the time to step back and ask GOD to reveal to you your role in it, maybe then can you really and truly move on.

P.S.: Thank you J, for the inspiration.

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Always remember “Never get too comfortable always put GOD first”

Sincerely,

Keisha

 

Lonliness?

Merry Sunday Everyone☺

So today I wanted to speak on the topic of LONLINESS! I know that this word has a very strong meaning, and could be a sensitive subject, but it’s something that has been on my heart. It all started with me going outside of my comfort zone or regular daily routine. Everyone who knows me, knows that I am the meaning of orderly, meaning I like things to be planned, I love cleanliness, and ORDER! I cannot function without it. I have been called OCD a time or two ( and am ok with it)😉. But anyway back to my epiphany😊, I have a very good friend that let’s my girls spend the night on Thursday nights with her daughter , ( this is a blessing in itself, it gives me an opportunity to breath from the weeks interesting moments). I ususally take this time to get more sleep or chill out, but I decided to do something different, I decided to go to a comedy club BY MYSELF, ( I know you’re probably thinking “who would do that ” Well ME! I WOULD!!🙌🙋. Now I have no problem doing alot of things by myself, but just like most of the world, I love to have company when I am doing social things like going to the movies, out to eat etc., but I had to challenge myself, ( I have heard people say that they can’t be alone) and that is another reason for my challenge. I don’t want to be victim to those words *disclaimer* ( please before I continue this is no judgment  to anyone, this is completely my opinion). I do NOT want to feel like I am ever alone because that is not the truth ( you know I gotta take this back to GOD) because I am a” JESUS GIRL” ( I seen that on Priscilla Shirer instagram, and was immediately  hooked, so I am claiming it, don’t judge me! Lol. Anyway it says in HIS word ( the bible🙏) in Deuteronomy 31:8 “The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged”. Also in Hebrews 13:5 he says ” Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you”.

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What does this mean to me? This means that I AM NEVER ALONE!, HE is ALWAYS WITH ME. So if GOD says that in HIS word, then to say ” I can’t be alone is false, and it is of the enemy! It is the enemy’s job to try and confuse us as to what GODs promises are for us. I believe that anytime we are under the false pretense of ” feeling alone” it leads us to believe and do things that devalue ourselves, and maybe not make the best decisions ( especially when we are out of HIS WILL).

When I think of this  relationships come to mind of course. If a person gets into a relationship  with another person just because of the fact of ” not being able to be alone” it robs you of what a potential mate you could be and it’s not fair to the person you are in a relationship with ( you are not giving them your full self). Let me explain further: if you feel like you NEED someone in order to make you whole, that is not healthy👎, it will allow you to compromise and settle, and GOD has so much planned for our lives that if we only waited on HIM to guide us we wouldn’t get ourselves into so much trouble. GODS Plan is always better than what we have planned. I have heard people say ” if you want to make GOD laugh, tell him your plans” I truly believe this. It sounds funny, but whatever we have planned can’t be anything compared to what HE has planned for us.

I ask you, if you are in a relationship please take the time to ask yourself and pray for GOD to give you the wisdom and knowledge to work on your relationship  with HIM so that you can make better decisions and not compromise yourself or set yourself up for heartache.

Alrighty, I think I have talked enough. Please have a blessed night, and remember,

” Never get too comfortable always put GOD first”

Sincerely,

Keisha